For MBA applicants considering a joint journey with their partners, this episode of the “Business Casual” podcast offers an insightful exploration into the unique dynamics of applying to business schools as a couple. Hosts Pola Lem, Maria Wich-Vila, and Caroline Diarte Edwards dive into the fascinating, albeit niche, topic of couples making the strategic decision to apply jointly, sharing valuable perspectives that can aid prospective applicants navigating this path.

One key takeaway from the discussion is the importance of clear and effective communication within applications. Applicants should thoughtfully articulate why they are applying together and how their joint presence will benefit not only each other but also the broader school community. It’s about framing the partnership as an asset, highlighting complementary skills and shared goals that enrich their educational pursuits.

Another highlight is the consideration of logistical and personal factors. Couples must weigh the implications of potentially being accepted to different schools and the impact on their relationship and educational aspirations. This requires thorough research and candid discussions to align on priorities and support mechanisms, ensuring that the decision to embark on this journey together strengthens, rather than strains, their bond.

For high-achieving couples, applying together can be a rewarding strategy, but it’s crucial to approach it with deliberate planning and transparency. This episode serves as a guide for those exploring this unique route, providing insights and encouragement to make informed decisions in their shared pursuit of an MBA.

Episode Transcript

Note: This transcript was generated by AI and may contain minor inaccuracies.

[00:00:02] – Pola

Hi everyone, I’m Pola Lem with Poets and Quants, and welcome to our weekly podcast, Business Casual. I’m joined today by my co-hosts, Maria Wikvila and Caroline D’Arti Edwards. Maria is founder of ApplicantLab, and Caroline was head of admissions at INSEAD and is co-founder of Fortuna Admissions. So Maria, before you came on this call, Caroline actually let slip that you’d been watching the Columbia game together and having dinner. I wasn’t invited to this.

[00:00:39] – Maria

Well, you’re just going to have to move to California. I mean, I don’t know what other— yeah, no, it was lovely. We have had the pleasure of being hosted by Caroline and her wonderful family many times. I am looking forward to returning the favor. So you guys have to come to visit us in LA, please.

[00:00:55] – Caroline

We will.

[00:00:56] – Maria

Um, but, but yeah, the Colombia game, you know, her husband Heriberto had face paint for us. It was very exciting.

[00:01:03] – Caroline

Wow.

[00:01:04] – Maria

Yeah, great game. It was a great game. And then unfortunately they lost, uh, a couple days ago, and I have been very sad about it because they didn’t play their best. Like, I think a lot of people who know that I’m a Colombia fan tuned in for that game, and I’m like, why does that have to be the game? Like, they’re normally so much better. Um, but so I think, you know, I, I thank Caroline and her husband and her family for their adopted support of the Colombian team, and now I have to throw my support behind, uh, England because, yeah, Mexico is out, Colombia’s out, U.S. is out, so it’s England and Spain, I guess.

[00:01:39] – Pola

Yeah, there’s been World Cup fever on this side too. I mean, obviously I’m rooting for England, uh, and the other day we actually had our work pub drinks at a pub where they were showing the Was it not Argentina? Oh no. You know what?

[00:01:56] – Caroline

It might be Egypt versus Argentina and Egypt was winning and then, and then yeah, it looked like they were gonna win and then Argentina came back at the end.

[00:02:06] – Pola

You can tell I was standing outside having a beer and not inside where the World Cup stuff was going on, but I definitely, I’m gonna be getting more and more into it as we near the finals. So yes, more, more good World Cup stuff to look forward to. Um, I’m here for the vibes, as you can tell.

[00:02:27] – Maria

I’m not, I’m not, um, that’s as good of a reason as any.

[00:02:30] – Pola

Yeah. But I do enjoy the screaming fans when you hear someone scores a goal and they’re like, ah, half the pub just—

[00:02:37] – Caroline

Yeah, it’s fun. It’s a lot of fun.

[00:02:39] – Pola

Burst into— yeah, exactly.

[00:02:41] – Maria

I, I, when the Colombia game was on a couple days ago, I texted Caroline and Eddie that like, I’m like, I really think the neighbors are gonna call the cops because I was screaming. So loudly that I’m like, somebody’s got to think that this woman’s getting murdered, you know? Like, like, they kept missing goals, they kept missing opportunities, and it was agony. So anyway, so yeah, you start, start with the vibes. The vibes are the good, like, gateway, and then you get sucked in. Then you’ll start to get sucked in.

[00:03:09] – Pola

I like it. I like— yeah. So, so, in— we’re doing a, a total 180-degree pivot here, but also in recent news We’ve, I’ve got a number of the week this week. So this is £25 million to sort of give you a bit more of a clue. Any, any takers on £25 million in the news?

[00:03:38] – Caroline

Yeah, I saw, I think your LinkedIn post about it or something on LinkedIn from London Business School. So they have a gift for an alumni gift, £25 million. Ding!

[00:03:48] – Pola

Correct!

[00:03:49] – Caroline

Don’t get the details.

[00:03:51] – Pola

That’s right. So I mean, that, that was pretty much exactly it. So, uh, LBS announced a $25 million gift, which was one of the largest in its history, matching a, a 2013 gift for the same amount. Uh, but that’s, uh, going toward a number of things. It’s no strings attached, but They’ll be using it to, um, to, to really kind of revamp one of their buildings and also fund scholarships and really bring in top MBA talent from around the world. So some exciting news, uh, at LBS. Yeah, exactly. All right, so separate from that, today our main topic is kind of One a little bit out of left field. So we have a story on Poets and Quants this week about a couple that applied together to an MBA program. So they wound up going to Tuck Business School. And one of this, the husband was an Army Green Beret and West Point grad. And his wife was in med tech, and they made a really interesting decision to, uh, to both apply at the same time to business schools, which I think— I don’t know, it seems like a sort of niche, you know.

[00:05:23] – Pola

I, I doubt that, uh, that that many students, applicants, find themselves in this situation, but it’s, it’s quite interesting, uh, if you’re kind of one of a high-flying couple deciding to do this. And then, you know, it maybe raises bigger questions around moving with a family and how you preserve that boundary between personal life and, you know, sanity when you’re doing a really intensive program like this. So these guys, for what it’s worth, said in their piece that Applying together is stressful. Surprise, surprise. Uh, are— so, so they said that their initial plan was to apply to the same schools, submit everything in round 1, uh, and then the— so her name is Kayla. The, the woman said that, uh, transparently Andrew was a lot more organized, so his applications were ready. For round 1, I wasn’t quite satisfied with my GRE score by September, uh, but I was also applying to dual degree programs at several schools, so that creates then, uh, different application timelines. Um, but she did say I’d recommend doing this together. Uh, and I do think some schools value partners applying at the same time, and it makes the process a bit more exciting.

[00:06:52] – Pola

Because you get to evaluate all your options together. So, first things first, how common is this sort of thing, Caroline? How do you know whether it’s a right decision for you as a couple?

[00:07:07] – Caroline

Well, I would say it’s much more common that people applying to business school are coming with a partner who’s not doing the MBA. So, it definitely happens that people apply at the same time and may end up going to an MBA program together. And there’s always, but there’s always a large partner community at business school, and mostly it is partners who are not doing the program. So we do see candidates every year where they are applying together, and I definitely saw that when I was at INSEAD, that we would have partners applying together. Sometimes we would know about it and sometimes we wouldn’t. We would find out afterwards that they had both been applying and we didn’t realize that they were they were a couple. We actually did like to know about it. It’s useful information for the schools, and it’s not that it gives you an advantage, right? So the school isn’t going to take that into account in the admissions decision. They’re not going to give you any boost because you’re applying as a couple, and it’s not going to detract from your application in any way. But it is useful information because they can be some scenarios where the school wants to take that into account in terms of communication.

[00:08:24] – Caroline

So for example, if one partner is admitted and one is waitlisted, we understand that they are probably trying to coordinate going to business school together, right? And so being waitlisted puts them potentially in a particularly difficult situation. And so the school may take that into account in terms of how they communicate and how they stay in touch with those two candidates. So it’s definitely worth mentioning in your application. Sometimes couples aren’t sure about whether they should bring it up with the business school, whether to actually mention it, and I always encourage them to include it. It’s not a— as I said, it’s not a factor that’s going to be taken into account in your admission, but it is relevant as part of your position in the applicant pool. So just mention it, for example, in an optional essay. You don’t need to make a big deal out of it, but it’s useful information for the school.

[00:09:26] – Pola

Just to follow up quickly on that, so if I’m applying with my partner and he gets in, I’m waitlisted, is that— would you be more inclined, Caroline, if you’re inside admissions to then tell those people at the same time? So, more kind of, I mean, how does that really change things when you’re getting that decision? Would you not learn at the same time anyway?

[00:09:56] – Caroline

Well, so if one person is waitlisted and one person’s admitted, so that the person who’s getting admitted straight away is getting a decision much earlier than the person who is waitlisted. So, It may mean that, for example, if you’re looking at that candidate when you’re reviewing waitlist decisions and you think this person is going to get in sooner or later, it may be that that person will get their spot a few weeks earlier rather than later, because you know that they are coordinating with the partner. So if you, if it seems that they are going to get in, then it might just be an expedited decision on that particular case. Because of course there’s a risk if you leave it too long to admit them, then they may have decided to go together to another school, right? So it’s just clearly they have— they’re trying to coordinate a lot in terms of going to the same school and logistics and so on. So the school might be able to take that into account, but really on the margins. It’s not going to give them a big boost in their chances on the waitlist, but it’s really in terms of communication and timing.

[00:11:12] – Pola

Sure. Maria, Caroline’s already given us some dos and don’t dos, but is there anything in particular you would recommend avoiding at application stage if you’re applying together as a couple?

[00:11:30] – Maria

Well, I would definitely avoid— I once had someone contact me and say that she was going to put in her optional essay an ultimatum. That I’m applying with my partner, and if you’re not going to accept him, then don’t accept me either, because I’d rather not have to make this decision. Uh, and in this situation, she was a much stronger candidate, and I gave her some tough love that I don’t think she wanted to hear. But I was like, if you get into Harvard or Stanford and your boyfriend doesn’t, like, sorry for the boyfriend, but you, you— anyway, this is just my own little, my own little thing of like Yeah, that’s great. But it’s a— it’s 2 years of your life. And if you really are going to be with this person for the next 40 years, you can make it work. You can make it work long distance. You can make work with one of you in the program and one of you not. Lots of couples have done that before. So I don’t know, this kind of like putting my foot down ultimatum, I thought was a very ill-advised tactic. So there’s that.

[00:12:35] – Maria

What other don’ts? Yeah, I think just, just don’t, don’t think that you’re going to get a huge boost, as Caroline said. I think it’s interesting. I think it certainly helps with yield, right? If I, if I’m interested in one person very much and I’m kind of interested in the partner, the partner’s more of like a borderline case, well, if I accept the one and they deposit and I know they’re coming, I know that the other one is essentially a guaranteed yield. So that is a little bit helpful, but don’t assume that, well, I have a -400 on the GMAT and my partner has a perfect GMAT, and they’re going to overlook that because they’re going to love the fact that we’re applying together as a couple so much. They’re going to love the rom-com aspect of it so much that I’m getting in no matter what. Uh, I would not— I would not count on that.

[00:13:20] – Pola

I have to say, I love the rom-com aspect. Like, can there please be a show about a couple applying together for— in fact, this could be a reality— I don’t even watch reality TV, but I would this show.

[00:13:31] – Maria

It’s gonna be a very stressful show. It could actually be a pretty agonizing and stressful, um, I don’t— I think people would tune out after the first 10 minutes of everyone, you know, cortisol levels being through the roof.

[00:13:46] – Pola

If you’re looking for an adrenaline rush, maybe not before bedtime viewing, but, but sort of earlier in the day. So, uh, I mean, we, you know, we haven’t talked about the family side of things, uh, as much in context of, um, of, of business school decisions. But what are some other considerations, Caroline, if you’re, you know, if you’re, if you’re bringing along a partner or even a, you know, a larger family, kids, potentially a dog, who knows? Some cats. Um, are you— are there, um, what are, what are some, some particular things that you should be on the lookout for in a business school you’re considering?

[00:14:37] – Caroline

Yeah, and that’s very— it’s a very common scenario. There are a lot of MBA students who are joined by their partner and sometimes children as well. So it’s definitely worth looking at the partner community. So most of the schools will have active clubs, activities for partners, welcome events. So it’s a good idea to investigate those and get your partner plugged in early and see if it’s a good fit for them as well. There’s also, of course, a lot of logistical matters to take into account. So you’re going to need more housing if you’ve got kids, you’ve got to look into schools potentially. So it’s definitely worth applying earlier rather than later because it’s going to give you just more time to sort out all of those logistical questions. And if you’re crossing borders, then there’s visa questions as well. So definitely worth investigating that before you apply to make sure that your partner will be able to get the visa. And then in some cases, partners are also looking to work. So I know that, for example, at INSEAD, some partners have been successful in finding work during the program. When I was doing the MBA myself in Singapore, some of my friends had partners who landed jobs in Singapore for the duration of the program.

[00:16:06] – Caroline

So that’s worth investigating as well if your partner is looking to relocate and to to find job opportunities. But definitely look at the school resources, and it might be a conversation worth having with the school to learn more about how they support partners, because it is a really critical part of your success if you’re coming with a partner. You want your partner to enjoy the experience and really thrive as much as you do. And for many partners, it is a fantastic experience because they also get to meet this amazing community, participate in a lot of fantastic activities. I remember at INSEAD, some of my partners— sorry, some of my classmates’ partners sat in and audited some of the classes, and so they got a lot out of that experience as well. So definitely worth learning about the opportunities that would be available for the partner.

[00:17:11] – Pola

Definitely. I mean, I think that that rings true based on this, this couple’s experience. I mean, I know they were both doing the MBA together, but, but that’s also applicable if you’re just coming along and building friendships. I mean, one, one interesting thing that, that they said was that there was definitely this learning curve during the first year where they kind of both came in wanting to make those individual friendships and have their own identities., but also spend time together in their marriage and do this experience together. And then they kind of, you know, found their way through that. But in that vein, I guess, Maria, do you have any tips for couples who are, well, either, either both doing an MBA together or, or one of them is coming along for the ride and how you’d go about making the most of the experience, but um, you know, each, each finding your way without stepping on each other’s toes too much.

[00:18:15] – Maria

Yeah, I, I like the idea of let’s try to forge our own identities here instead of being a monolithic group, like, we are the couple and you must be friends with us as a couple. Um, I think it’s really terrific if they, they make a concerted effort to chart their own path, not just socially but also professionally, but then also be cognizant of the fact that, like, we need to set aside time to connect with each other. I think if you are a— what is sometimes referred to as the trailing partner, aka the partner coming along but not attending school— just be aware of the fact that business school, especially in that very beginning, that sort of first trimester, that first semester, is going to be so much more stressful than you think it’s going to be. And your partner— I think a lot of people are sometimes surprised by the stress of— because you’re, you’re not only starting school again, but the core is usually front-loaded to get some of these more difficult classes out of the, and then boom, like 2 weeks later recruiting starts, uh, for summer internships. So just be, just be aware of the fact that your partner is going to be very stressed, probably.

[00:19:18] – Maria

Um, they may not be at their best perhaps during that, during that very stressful time. Um, but just be, be aware of the fact that that might happen. And this is where, you know, Caroline mentioned the partners clubs earlier. That’s why these partners clubs exist. There’s many reasons they exist, but one of them is for you to talk to the partners. They, if it’s a multi-year program, a year ahead of you And then they can say like, don’t worry, by spring semester it all calms down, or whatever, whatever that might be. But that’s, that’s one thing I would tell. Yeah, exactly. So just, just be aware that it’s not, it’s not like freshman year parties, all that. I mean, there’s not a lot of partying, I’m not gonna lie, but, but it is, it comes with a tremendous amount of stress. Um, so just, just buckle up for that. Brain partner. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[00:20:08] – Pola

So, I mean, we’ve been talking about the MBA and getting through that experience together as a couple, but Caroline, in exiting the MBA, uh, are there industries that make it easier or harder for couples to stay together after graduation?

[00:20:30] – Caroline

Yeah, it’s a very interesting question, and I think it’s often a challenge for MBA graduates to manage two careers. And I’ve seen that a lot amongst my classmates and other INSEAD alumni that I know. And I— maybe it’s changed, but it wasn’t something that was discussed much when I was on the program. And I think that’s a shame because that’s a key part of career management is that you probably have two careers to manage and coordinate, and it can get very complicated. So I think that at least my experience was that that wasn’t something that was really addressed much, and I think that schools could offer some more good advice on that, although I’m not sure that there are any easy solutions. So I think it’s particularly challenging if you start to move geographies. So, I think that, for example, looking at my classmates versus my husband’s classmates, so I went to INSEAD, he went to Stanford, a lot of his classmates have stayed here in the Bay Area. So then it is, I think, easier to manage two careers because there are a lot of, obviously, a vast amount of opportunities here in the Bay Area.

[00:21:50] – Caroline

If you start moving around geographically, and that’s often the case for INSEAD alumni, that they are internationally mobile, it can get harder for two people to be able to make the right move in their career at the same time and keep going on the trajectory that they would like to pursue. So that’s just a complicating factor if you are doing your MBA in France or Singapore and then you’re going to work in London or you’re going to work in, as in my case, went to work in Jakarta or somewhere else, then trying to find the right opportunity for both graduates can be very difficult. Perhaps there are industries where that is easier to do, perhaps in consulting because there are multiple firms in big cities that are hiring people going into consulting, and there’s just a large volume of MBA graduates going into that industry. So that could be a sector where you might be able to coordinate things more easily. So I think, you know, geography is a big factor. If you’re able to, perhaps if you decide that you’re going to focus on being in a certain location, whether that’s London or New York or the Bay Area, wherever that may be, that will probably make it easier for you to coordinate two careers than if you start moving around internationally.

[00:23:24] – Caroline

Hmm.

[00:23:25] – Pola

Maria, any other parting thoughts for us on keeping a relationship alive during your business school experience?

[00:23:35] – Maria

Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, to add on to what Caroline was saying, when you do have a dual MBA couple, you’re just going to have to make a list of priorities and say, these are the, these are the things I’m not willing to compromise on. This is like the number one thing I want to prioritize. And then, because there’s— it’s going to be really difficult. I mean, if both partners are working in investment banking on Wall Street, okay, fine, that makes it a little bit easier. But oftentimes partners have differing career, career interests. So just realize that you are— you both of you may need to make some sort of a sacrifice. You know, I met my husband in business school, and he graduated the year before I did, so we were long distance for a year. That as he was trying to choose his— he had sort of two very compelling post-MBA offers, and one was in Los Angeles and one was in Connecticut. And he was leaning more towards the Los Angeles opportunity anyway. It was the industry he wanted to work in, etc. But I was like, I, I really don’t want to live in Connecticut.

[00:24:32] – Maria

Like, can you please—

[00:24:33] – Pola

is it—

[00:24:34] – Maria

could we, could we tilt the decision more? I’m nothing against Connecticut. I I’m just not a winter— I am not built for winter. Uh, and so I had already lived through two winters, you know, I’d lived through my first winter in Boston, I knew there was another one coming up, and I was like, I am okay with this being my last winter I ever experienced like this again. Um, and so anyway, like, that’s those sorts of conversations. And I, I mean, Caroline has had— definitely had that conversation much more with her very global career. So yeah, just, you know, you use— you can also reach out to us as a resource if you’re trying to navigate these things. But, but just realize that there may need to be some, there may need to be some prioritization, and it’s not going to be the first time or the last time, I should say.

[00:25:22] – Pola

Yeah, well, I mean, I think, I think, you know, I didn’t realize, but in-house we’ve got our own You know, to be school rom-coms, not maybe rom-coms.

[00:25:34] – Caroline

Yeah.

[00:25:36] – Pola

But, uh, I think that, that winds things up for today. And if anyone’s interested, Maria and Caroline, it sounds like, are open to folks getting in touch about keeping your relationships alive during the MBA and after. So. Do get in touch with them and check out poetsandquants.com. And of course, if you like this episode, please go to our page on Business Casual and check out our other stuff. So thanks again very much to my co-hosts, and thank you everyone for listening.